A little culture

So yesterday, Mommy was all set to bring Dash to the Portland Art Museum (it's free the last Friday of every month, between 5-8). The plan was for Daddy to drive them down the hill -- it's just a mile away from home -- and drop them off, but when we arrived we found that a few other people had the same idea. I'm sorry, I meant to say a few hundred. The line was waaaaaay out the door and going nowhere fast. Compounding the horrendous wait was the miserable cold (mid-20's). An executive decision was made; Mommy was craving a Banzai Burger (featuring, ugh, pineapple and teriyaki sauce) from Red Robin, so off we went to the "charming" Lloyd Center neighborhood.

A thousand amazing restaurants in Portland, and we go to Red Robin, home of the unsavory, perpetual crowd. Yes, we traded in the museum for the zoo. Anyway, this little sloth tried her best to spread her nasty germs to Dash the entire meal.

Photo ©2011 Garrito

A battle of wills. And nipples.

Don't let the adorable face and innocent pie eyes fool you. You're looking at 16 lbs. of pure cunning.

With Mommy's return to work a mere three weeks away, today was Day 1 of Pater Training. Yes, Pater Training. The course description reads: "A baby boot camp for Daddy, wherein he is thrown in to the lion for half a day with nothing but a fistful of clean diapers, a fresh bottle of milk, and what's left of his wits after almost four months of sleep deprivation." So, from 7:30am until noon, it was Daddy vs. Dash. The score after Day 1?

Son: 1. Father: 0.

In shorter encounters, Daddy has had mixed success with the bottle. Some days, even with inferior equipment, Daddy is almost Mommy's equal in the delivery of vitamin D*. On other days, the only D is his grade for feeding his son. Today was something new altogether. Dash long ago figured out that he could wait out Daddy until Mommy came home with nature's bottles. Well, this morning after a string of unsuccessful attempts to feed the bugger, and the bugger realizing Mommy was nowhere in sight (she was hiding downstairs the whole time), the bugger went to Plan B. He hibernated. This was no nap. He actually went into suspended animation for over two hours, until Mommy woke him up at noon. Dash, wishing to rub it in Daddy's face, promptly fed.

If you come across this boy, careful, he's crafty.

*[UPDATE: Mommy has informed Daddy that Vitamin D is added to milk to improve its nutritional value, thus rendering this joke not only lame, but broken.]

Photos ©2011 Garrito

Monkey see, monkey coo

Dash's pal Marcel swung by for a visit today. Slow news day.

Photo ©2011 Garrito

Homeward frowned

Our beach weekend ended today, and so we shook off the sand and returned to the big city. Well, the city, anyway. It sure was nice to lose sleep in a more beautiful location. Dash must have been dreaming about car seats last night (see previous post), because he barfed all over Daddy at 3 am. (Somewhere out there, grandparents are undoubtedly experiencing a bit of schadenfreude.) By morning, all was forgiven.

Dash fast asleep in the back seat and Mommy chauffeuring, Daddy was left to slumber and awaken occasionally to look for shapes in the clouds. Look, it's a hippo with Marty Feldman eyes!

All photos ©2011 Garrito

Gone fishin'

The highlight of day two of Dash's long beach weekend was a visit to the Oregon Coast Aquarium. As with all things baby-related, the simple act of getting out the door required patience, fortitude, and industrial strength cleaning products. The day started, typically, with a happy lad.

A feeding was followed closely behind by a milk coma.

Seizing the opportunity, Mommy and Daddy fit in their workouts. Mommy went for a long walk (squint and you can actually see her waving) followed by Daddy, who made the ocean look dry in comparison.

Out the door at last, the Colen-Blackadder clan was happily on the way to the aquarium. The excitement lasted all of 3 blocks, at which time Dash promptly threw up about two gallons of grade A Mommy milk. Again. Deja spew. It seems every time we get him in his car seat and out the door, a hurl is rarely more than an a-goo away. So...back to the house we went to hose him and his car seat down. Eventually we made it to the aquarium, happy (and surprised) to find it still open.

Daddy barely escaped an attack by pirhanas.

Back at the hacienda, Dash'n'Daddy settled in for the evening.

All photos ©2011 Garrito

Beach baby, beach baby, give me a yawn

Dash saw the ocean for the first time today. Unfortunately, he did not share our enthusiasm.

That didn't stop Daddy from taking wave after wave of comatose baby photos.

Determined to get a family portrait, including the lighthouse in the background (no, that's not a spec of dust!), Daddy took the most beach shots since the Normandy invasion.

On our first day in Newport, OR (where our good friend Kristy's parents generously offered us their amazing beach-front house for a much-needed getaway), we did some exploring.

Finally, as is customary, the sun set.

Oh, sure, NOW he wakes up.

All photos ©2011 Garrito

Hodgepodge

All photos ©2011 Garrito

Peek-a-...who?

Photos ©2011 Garrito

When chickens attack

Dash didn't stand a chance when the yellow menace took him by surprise.

Shoot, what was that chord?

Photo ©2011 Garrito

That's the way we became the Baby Brunch

Today we hosted the two people most responsible, after us, for Dash's very existence (see: Initial Setup) -- Bart and Shelly -- for brunch.

They came from the north, bearing VooDoo Donuts (a Portland thing) and a whole new awesome, funky wardrobe for Dash.

In return, the soon-to-be-betrothed couple received an invaluable baby-holding lesson. Step 1: Take baby. Step 2: No, seriously, take baby. Step 3: Don't drop baby.

Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end. Food devoured, lesson learned, and baby burped, Bart and Shelly bid us adieu, passing a famous Portland landmark.

All photos ©2011 Garrito

Crazy Aunt Shelly

'Nuff said.

  
Photo ©2011 Garrito

Ding dong, the wicked witch is dead

It's probably just me, but Dash under his feeding bib looks very Wicked Witch of the East-under-the-house-ish.

These shots were taken last night at a pot luck dinner at the Portland Children's Museum, hosted by the Anadaluz Waterbirth Center (where Dash was born). We thought it was a party for just the babies born in the last year at the center, and were surprised to learn it was for every baby ever born there. It seemed more like every baby ever born in Portland. Why, there was more screaming than a Kardashian engagement party. As you can see from this photo, it was laying-room only.

All photos ©2011 Garrito

A day at la biblioteca

Dash's day started out foggy. Here's what it looked like from our front window. (My apologies for including a picture that doesn't actually feature Dash, but it was pretty cool outside.) That's Carla heading to the gym.

It didn't take long for the sun to break through, followed immediately by a smiley baby.

Parental workouts out of the way, it was time to take Dash on his first trip to the central library in downtown Portland. It was so nice out, we decided to walk the 1.3 miles. Never, ever let the sun fool you. It was freeeeezing. But the view kind of made up for it. Squint and you can see Mt. St. Helens over Carla's right shoulder in the first photo. In the second shot, that's Mt. Adams peeking out on the left. (Weren't expecting a geography lesson here, were ya?)

We finally arrived at the library, unloaded our gear and child in the children's section, found some board books (I always thought parents were saying "bored" books, 'cause they were tired of reading them over and over to their kids), squatted down in the pint-sized chairs, and began reading to the lad.

Sadly, our efforts to educate and entertain Dash fell on deaf ears as Mr. Cranky decided to make an appearance.

I just realized I should have written this like a kid's book. Oh, well. The end.

All photos ©2011 Garrito