Matrimonial Blitz, Day 3: Cue Kool & The Gang (Continued)

OK, now where were we? Oh, right...

It was a day of celebration.

Dash was wearing his best khakis. His only khakis. Why, there they are peeking out from his nursing cover, shortly before the festivities were to begin.

While Daddy was snapping shots of his hungry son, a frantic knock came at the nearby front door. No one was around, so Daddy, not one to turn away prospective wedding crashers, opened it.

Daddy's first thought was, What's an angel doing in the middle of upstate NY on a Saturday evening? Oh, wait. It was the bride. Tahl. Easy mistake.

Soon thereafter, the crowd started congregating behind Cousin Daniel's stunning farmhouse.

The groom, Bryan, on the right, his back to the camera, stood by the chuppah (Hebrew for "they did WHAT with the good linen?!") awaiting his bride.

Among the celebrants, Cousins Beau and Guy (this weekend marked the first time all first cousins have ever been together -- more about that on Day 4) joined Daddy's daddy, Grandaddy Don.

Suddenly, there was a stirring in the crowd. It might have been a hush. Daddy can't remember. Point is, the bride had begun her wedding march. Looking even more angelic with her veil, Tahl was accompanied by her beaming parents, Uncle Seymour and Aunt Harriet.

Uncle Seymour raised Tahl's veil, exposing the entire wedding party to possible beauty blindness.

Following Jewish tradition, the bride then circled the groom seven times, presumably to check out the merchandise one last time.

Bryan easily passed with flying colors (which begs the question: which colors do and do not fly?). The ceremony continued.

Meanwhile...on the sidelines...Uncle Bozo was busy living up to his name. (Be sure to click on the photo, and then again to zoom in, to fully appreciate his "special occasion" clown nose.)

Back on the main stage, Bryan put his moves on a married woman while Aunt Harriet officially hit the "start" button on her grandchild stopwatch. (Tick tick, Tahl.)

Mommy, Daddy, and Grandma Laurie posed, while Dash gave a tug at what appears to be Grandaddy Don's braided chest hair.

Daddy gave Dash a better view of the celebration. Maybe a little too good a view.

Then came the reception, and oh what a reception it was. Now Daddy has been to quite a few receptions -- even a few of his own! -- and he has come to learn that far too often, it's actually a DE-ception. You know, when the couple thinks no one notices the blah dinner and schmaltzy music? But Daddy digresses. Bryan and Tahl know how to throw a hell of a wedding. It certainly helps that the groom is a Foodie.

The newlyweds wasted no time setting the tone for the evening.

Before you could say "mazel tov," a hora broke out.

Hava Nagila is not Hava Nagila until someone gets chaired. Up went Bryan and Tahl.

Up went Uncle Seymour.

Up went Aunt Harriet, who clearly looked forward to her return to Earth.

And the band rocked on.

Then came the media blackout while Daddy gorged himself. Well, took turns with Mommy gorging and tending to His Dashness. Toward the end of the evening Daddy once again wielded his smartphone, just in time to catch a rare sight: Uncle Bozo dancing. He must have thought he was wearing his oversized clown shoes, 'cause all he seemed to be doing was swaying back and forth with Aunty Dianne.

Daddy wishes they WERE clown shoes. Maybe then Uncle Bozo wouldn't have needed him to help take off his oh so nasty boots before heading back to Motel Smell.

Next up: Day-After Brunch and Dash follows his animal instincts.